Second guidepost in this resilience roadmap: Connection
In our article on raising a resilient child, we emphasised that connection involves effective communication. What exactly does effective communication entail, and how can we establish two-way communication? We often hear statements like, “My child isn’t listening to me!” or “My child feels I only point out what she’s doing wrong, never acknowledging what she does right.”
It’s worth reflecting on our intentions when communicating with our children. Let’s take a minute to pause and reflect on the times we communicate with our children. Do we consistently seek connection, or do we communicate solely when addressing what needs correction?
Think of a time when you communicated and felt that your child was not communicating or listening. Use the following questions to guide you in reflecting on the situation:
Do my messages convey and teach respect?
Were my expectations for my children realistic?
Am I helping my children learn to solve problems?
Am I teaching empathy and compassion?
Am I setting limits in ways that permit my children to learn from me rather than resent me?
Am I truly listening to and validating what my children are saying?
Am I helping my children appreciate that mistakes are part of the learning process?
Am I comfortable in acknowledging my own mistakes and apologising for them?
Reflecting on these questions can provide valuable insights into the dynamics of your communication with your child and help foster a healthy and supportive relationship.
The key to effective communication lies in our intention to listen, learn, and influence positively. Remember to validate what your child is saying and use non judgemental and non accusatory communication.
