Guidepost in this resilience roadmap: Developing Responsibility and Independence
Young children are often motivated to assist with tasks and feel immensely happy when their contributions are appreciated. In my years of working with young children, I’ve observed that they take great pride in being entrusted with responsibilities. Such tasks grant them a sense of belonging within their environment.
For instance, assigning the role of hygiene officer in our class ensures that tables are cleaned after meals. Through this responsibility, children become more mindful of their surroundings and their own accountability in maintaining cleanliness by returning utensils and keeping their area tidy. When their peers neglect to clean up after meals, it presents a learning opportunity for them to problem-solve. How might they politely remind their friends? And if a friend struggles to complete a task, how can they help solve the problem? These unplanned learning moments are invaluable, provided we recognize them and offer the necessary support for learning.
As we have discussed in our previous articles, children are highly observant not only of their parents’ language and speech but also of their behaviours.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on these questions, or you may ask your child and reflect on their answers:
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If we asked your child about the ways in which you are responsible, what would they answer?
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If we asked your child about behaviours they have observed in which you are irresponsible, what would they say?
After this reflection, what are some ways you could continue doing to help your child to be responsible and what you could change to be a better guide for your child.
Here are some simple yet powerful things we can do to foster responsible behaviour and independence:
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Empowering children to develop self-help skills within a safe environment and with developmentally appropriate expectations is crucial for their growth. This includes tasks such as feeding themselves and wearing their own shoes.
Many parents I’ve encountered in my years of working with them express apprehension when it comes to meal times. They often believe that their child is incapable of feeding themselves due to the potential mess it may create. Consequently, they resort to feeding their child themselves, leading to the development of habits where the child sits at the dining table with a screen, passively waiting to be fed.
To encourage children to feed themselves, it’s essential to create an environment conducive to easier cleaning, as messes are inevitable when children are learning this skill. Patience is key throughout this process, and it’s important to praise them when they make progress or perform the task correctly. Engaging in the learning process together can also be enjoyable and rewarding for both parent and child. This approach applies similarly to teaching other self-help skills to younger children.
Packing their school bag / their room
It is indeed crucial to instil in children a sense of responsibility for their belongings and school work. A common response from my students when asked about their school work is often, “My mommy didn’t bring it,” or “My mommy forgets about my homework.” I fully empathise with the challenges of balancing home, work, and children. However, wouldn’t it be a tremendous relief if we could teach our children to be responsible and independent from a young age?
Allowing children to face the consequences of their actions is an integral part of their learning process. While it may be tempting to shield them from negative consequences, doing so only hinders their ability to problem-solve and learn from their mistakes. It’s essential to ensure that these consequences remain within safe limits, but by constantly doing everything for them, we deprive them of the opportunity to develop crucial life skills.
Teaching children to take ownership of their responsibilities not only empowers them but also prepares them for the challenges they will encounter in the future. By allowing them to face the consequences of their actions, we equip them with the tools they need to navigate similar situations independently and effectively in the future.
Assigning them tasks at home
Assigning tasks to your child to become your little helper at home is beneficial in various ways. Not only does it boost their confidence by demonstrating their capability to accomplish tasks, but it also fosters a sense of responsibility and independence. You can engage your child by asking them what tasks they would like to take charge of, such as helping with the laundry, sweeping the floor, or washing dishes.
It’s important to praise your child for their efforts and achievements in completing these tasks. Additionally, consider changing the assigned tasks on a monthly basis to keep things fresh and engaging. Making chores a family affair can be enjoyable and productive; involve everyone in the household and rotate tasks regularly.
Through this practice, children not only learn to be responsible individuals but also develop teamwork skills and a sense of helpfulness within the family unit.
As they accept responsibilities, they develop a resilient mindset including empathy, a sense of ownership for their lives, an appreciation of how their behaviours impact others, and a feeling of genuine success.
True assistance lies in nurturing your child’s ability to complete tasks on their own, fostering lifelong skills for growth and success. To achieve this, parents must wholeheartedly believe in their child’s capabilities and provide the guidance and support needed for their journey towards independence.
