Guidepost in this resilience roadmap: Self-Discipline and Self-Worth
In our initial blog post about raising resilient children, we highlighted the significant impact of our disciplinary approach on fostering self-esteem, self-control, and resilience in our children. How we discipline our children can either bolster or undermine self-esteem, self-control, and resilience. One of the main goals of discipline is to create a safe and secure space for children. Another is to nurture self-discipline and self-control in children.
By consciously incorporating the following guideposts into our parenting practices:
- Empathy
- Connection
- Consistency
- Positive scripts
- Mutual respect
- Celebrating success
- Acceptance
- Fostering responsibility and independence
- Developing problem-solving and decision-making skills
We can gradually guide our children toward achieving self-discipline and self-worth.
Commencing with empathy and active listening, free from judgement, we encourage our children to openly express their thoughts, both positive and negative. This fosters a deeper connection, trust, and mutual respect. By employing positive scripts, we establish effective communication channels with our children and exemplify constructive communication when confronting big emotions. Celebrating their accomplishments allows them to recognize both their strengths and areas for growth, thus contributing to the creation of a secure environment for our children.
Accepting both their strengths and weaknesses teaches them the value of self-worth. Setting clear and realistic boundaries and expectations aids in developing their sense of responsibility and independence, fostering self-discipline and self-worth. By offering support as they navigate independence and guiding them through problem-solving, we instil confidence in their decision-making abilities, further strengthening their self-worth and self-discipline.
Consistency in your expectations and disciplinary styles for all parents or guardians within the family unit is crucial. It is also important to distinguish between punitive measures that evoke resentment and realistic, natural and logical consequences that teach self-discipline and self-control.
Discipline is an educational journey: our goal is for our child to cultivate self-discipline and self-control instead of build-up of anger and resentment or fear. To be successful, we need to involve our children in the disciplinary process by helping them to understand the importance of boundaries and consequences. We must empower them to recognize their capability to make sound choices and decisions, thereby gaining greater control over their behaviour.
“Discipline is not a one-way street, our child needs to be involved to understand the effects of their behaviour and choices. It takes a village to raise a child well.”
